My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

the real whiny wednesday post.

I'm done.
I don't mean in the "stop this planet, I want to get off" way...
I just mean I'm done with dating... or trying to date. I thought I was ready. I'm not.
I'm tired of the disappointment.
Red Flag Guy... ugh.
Next Guy rides off into the sunset without explanation...
Bear Hunter was a hello and goodbye in the same breath.
And the half dozen others that seem promising and end up... dead end.
I want God's will. I really, truly, whole heartedly do.
But what if God's will for my life is for me to be single the rest of my life?
I met Nice Guy today. He really is a nice guy... Godly man... good father... lots of the qualities that I'm looking for... I had a glimmer of hope...
Later I got a text... it wasn't "magical" for him.
Nice. Really, really nice.
I'm just.
So.
Done.
I thought that waiting two years would give me the time I needed to be emotionally strong enough to take rejection.
It wasn't.
I hate it.
It never gets easier.
Putting myself out there... gets harder and harder and harder with every rejection.
It's a small town. I think I've been through every single guy in the county by now.
It's just.
Discouraging.
Going to bed now.
Gonna have my own private little pity party.
Goodbye dating world... you're not gonna have this girl to kick around any more.
I'll be the old maid crazy cat lady.
Apparently... that's what I'm supposed to be.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok heather I have a few words... You say you put your trust in God to send the right Guy No matter what! Well if thats true then why do u doubt God when you meet someone who isnt the One You had said in a post that if Mr wrong comes You trust God will shoeee him away so that you wont get your heart Broken God is holding his end of the bargin he is shoeeing away the bad ones for you and this is upsetting you cause you see some men as maybe being Mr Right I know this hurts But Trust God!!!!! If you are with a guy and he is mature enough to let you no he isnt feeling you well Thank God at least he didnt lead u on I dont think you are ready to take the next step cause if you were you would not feel so bad about someone you dont even no and u would Trust God... He has big plans for you when are you going to let him work for you!!!

LYN said...

exactly what wasn't "magical"?

Heather said...

Lyn.... I don't really know. It felt like we were really connecting and we had several great conversations. He asked if he could drop by and I reluctantly agreed... I was in my baggy sweatshirt and pj pants with fuzzy slippers... the house wasn't clean... we laughed and said it would be a worst case scenario thing... and I guess he wasn't impressed with worst case. Ultimately, yeah, if he's not into me... that's fine... but it was just sort of abrupt. Like... he didn't even give it a chance. Of course, that's still better than next guy and the way he was all hot and heavy and "you'll never be alone again" then disappeared without explanation. I'm just so sick of the process. Either they like me way more than I like them or vice versa. UGH!

bgiannamore said...

Heather, I admire you. I have gone through the same things with that I have. The hopeful conversations, the "connection" you feel when talking on the phone, or texting. Then as fast as it comes..it goes. I have no earthly idea what happens..and usually end up beating myself up over it..wondering..what did I say, or not say. Was I funny enough, or too sarcastic..am I too this or that..ugh..its painful and demoralizing. I admire you because you stick to your guns, dont look back, and stay true to yourself. I am guilty of being afraid of being alone, and make choices my head screams no..but the fear is overwhelming at times. I have no been on my own..always having a man or family by my side. To me you are my hero. I need to be more like you and stand on my own and not be scared. Wow..this is a rambling comment..but I wanted to make it anyhow..Thank you for the joy you bring me every day with your blogs and your strength!

bgiannamore said...

OHH too many typos..sorry did this my phone..
It should read..gone through the same things with DATING that you have. ... and.. I have NEVER been on my own.

Melissa Huray said...

I feel your pain. I don't blame you if you want to remove yourself from the dating scene. After I was aggressively trying for a while, a good friend said to me, Why don't you let him find you." I thought, AS IF!!! Well, it worked. He will find you. I just thought of a funny story - around 2001, shortly before I met Mike, I decided to go out for dinner with a guy I met on some dating site. I thought things went great during our dinner and hoped we would see each other again. Well, a few days later, he emailed to tell me he had met his "Dream girl" and it wasn't me. HAHAHA! I was so bummed - but God had a much greater man set aside for me. I believe this will happen for you, too Heather! You are a wonderful woman and the right guy is out there.