My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, January 21, 2011

you're all invited to my pity party

Pain bears down on me.
I eat something bland to be able to take pills.
Take pills to get rid of the pain.
Get nauseated and throw up at least part of what I ate.
Lay as still as possible until the nausea passes.
Start to feel better.
Believe it's passing. Get all cocky and hopeful and do things like... put in a load of laundry... put dishes in the dishwasher... feed the cats...
Then... pain comes back again.
And the cycle repeats.
This is the cycle I've been in since Tuesday.
I'm beyond frustrated.
I really believed I was going to work today. I do have a great boss, (thanks Lyn, for adding to my stress! although I don't believe I'd lose my job because of illnesses - he knows how hard I'm working at being healthy) but I don't want to be out. I am worried about missing so much work. Yet... you have to be able to do things like... sit up... to be able to work.
Today I have added a migraine to the mix.
I'm mad.
I'm scared.
I'm frustrated.
I've been living off dry toast and mushy white rice and my weight is up.
Austin got mad at me last night because I wouldn't run to the grocery store and buy the kind of food HE likes to eat.
I guess he's learning a lesson in all this... don't waste food because it doesn't always magically reappear in the house when you leave it out to rot.
I have had a couple people check in on me... make sure we don't need anything from the store...
Austin says, "please send teenager food"... I say, "we've got plenty of rice left and that's all I can manage to eat"...
I'm going to call the doctor when they open this morning and say, "really? should i still feel this bad?"
Is this normal?
Well. I guess, if I think back... the kidney infections of 2008 and 2009 WERE both this bad... with the nausea - which we attributed to the medications but I'm nauseous even when I first wake up in the morning when there are no meds left in my system.

Anyways... so that's what's happening around here. Sorry to be such a drag. Sorry to whine and complain. Sorry, co-workers, for being a slacker this week. Sorry, son, for not keeping your normal buffet stocked for you. Sorry, kitties, for cramping your style. Sorry, blog readers for not having upbeat, encouraging, inspirational posts.

It's gonna get better.

4 comments:

LYN said...

sorry for adding to your stress but it was just an observation!
I honestly hope you get better soon!

Anonymous said...

sounds miserable.
The life long pity party.
Some things will never change.
Only you can turn this around.
There has to be something that you are doing or not doing to cause all this grief.
Have you tried psychological counseling? Coupled with proper medical doctors, they may be able to get you re-balanced.
Joey

The Brown Recluse said...

I wonder if there's some allergy...or some other reaction that's making you sick...like an allergy to preservatives or something?

life with bobbi d said...

sorry you are feeling so bad, hope you get better soon. Don't worry about everyone else just take care of you.
Barbara