thankful Thursday... horizontal edition

I never made it to work yesterday. I barely made it to an upright position, as a matter of fact. Ever the eternal optimist... I got a shower... and started the glam routine... and... without going into detail... it became apparent that I wasn't getting very far from my bathroom... the nausea and dizziness was (and still is) overwhelming.

Because my doctor was not as thorough as I had hoped/expected... I can only guess that the pain/nausea/etc is from infection and possibly kidney stones. At times the pain is so intense that I can't sit still, talk, breathe... and at times it's just a soreness... pressure... aching... cramping. I've been trying to eat bland stuff... yogurt with honey... white rice... I had potstickers for dinner last night because I was starving. That's the odd thing about the nausea... it's not the kind that accompanies a virus where you have NO appetite.... it's the kind of nausea I had when I was pregnant (no, I'm not pregnant, haven't been exposed and couldn't accomplish it if I was)... it's the kind of nausea where you're STARVING and can't stop thinking about food but every bite you put into your body immediately goes into reverse.

And I've gotta tell you... I'm bitter about this whole thing. I DESERVE to be healthy. At least that's what I think. I've been doing the right things... living my best life... there's no reason for me to be all housebound and unable to work and unable to take care of my kid (who needs very little care) and unable to do anything except lay here with the recliner all reclined back and become a champion of online gaming.

SOOOOooo with that said... this Thankful Thursday required a little deeper digging than usual... but I'm gonna give it a shot because I do believe that gratitude and a positive attitude can be a healing force as much as the synthetic chemical crap that I'm reluctantly putting in my body. Here goes:

1. I'm grateful that my meds were cheap and that my doctors office always just accepts whatever amount I can pay.
2. I'm grateful this happened early in the year and that I had a few paid sick days I could use. I hate that they're ALREADY going to be gone but I'm gonna just have to work harder to stay well throughout the rest of 2011.
3. I'm grateful for my nest. My recliner is the best.
4. I'm grateful for social networking and all the sweet people who said they were praying for me. I know for some people... it's just a phrase... but I also know a lot of people in my life really DO pray for me, fervently and sincerely and it means the world to me.
5. I got a great laugh when I called to order delivery chinese for Austin yesterday (because there's no "Austin" food in the house and I don't feel like going to the store)... they recognized the address and said, "We haven't heard from you in a long time... did we do something wrong?" and I explained that I had been dieting and hadn't been eating out... he said, "Chinese food won't make you fat... have you ever seen any fat Chinese people?"... which was really funny... but it got funnier when my friend Scott reminded me about Buddha. Ha!
6. I have had to cancel my planned picnic with Crunch-n-munch for the second time. The first time was due to a teacher conference... this time due to my unexpected visit to urinary tract hell. I'm not grateful for that... but I'm grateful that he understands. He's decided to give up blogging (already) as it felt more like a chore or obligation than what he thought it would be... I understand that having a daily blog is not for everyone. Few people have such an action packed life that they have something exciting to talk about every day... I'm thankful that blogging, for me, is not a chore but is a way for me to check in with people who truly care what is happening in my life, even if it is boring. Sometimes I think it's the fact that I find my boring life amusing or can tell my boring story in an amusing way that makes people want to hear about it. Or maybe the trials and tribulations of Heather makes you feel like your life is WONDERFUL in comparison. HA! Whatever the case, I'm grateful for the opportunity, grateful for the ability and grateful that people come here to read every day.
7. I'm grateful for my kitties who keep me company when I'm not feeling good.
8. I'm grateful for plain fat free greek yogurt... high in protein... low in points... helps my tummy.
9. Although I normally avoid white rice because it's one of those foods without purpose... I'm glad I had some on hand... and I'm grateful for my rice cooker because I was able to "double cook" the rice... I cooked it, added more water and cooked it again so that I could make a softer, mushier, stickier rice to help my tummy.
10. I'm grateful that Austin has been cooperative and even has been slightly compassionate. He has refilled my big cup of water a few times for me.
11. I'm grateful for the friends that have checked in with me over the past two days... Angie, Crunch&Munch, the one without a nickname that I'm not ready to name, Cyndi, Organic Rose... and others... y'all give me confidence that if I died, someone would find my body before it started to rot. (single people really do worry about this)

I'd like to pretend that I'm going to make an attempt to go to work today but honestly... I'm not even able to pull the recliner into a sitting position... I can't imagine being able to get dressed and drive to the office and put in any kind of time that would deserve compensation. SO... I'm grateful for a restful day here in the nest.

Hope you find things to be thankful for today... even if you have to dig. Love and hugs, y'all.