Newsday Tuesday

The truant child is already awake. Honestly, I think he may have stayed up all night. I gave him the ultimatum last night that ANY day absent from school would result in the loss of his cell phone until he had attended school for a full month after that. My apologies to any teachers who suffer from him falling asleep in class. I do what I can. I also bought his favorite coffee creamer - caramel macchiato - and as a result, the two of us have almost finished an entire pot of coffee this morning.

I didn't exercise yesterday. Monday takes too much out of me. I will today. I am determined.

There are so many pillows piled up on my bed that my full bed looks like a day bed. The princess and the pea... Gotta have my cozy bed.

It's amazing the things that get hidden during the winter... the snow piles up and covers so much... and we bundle up so much that we miss things like... oh, I don't know... toenails that need clipping. I could cling to a branch with the talons I've developed.

I fell into such a deep sleep last night that I woke up at 12:30 and thought it must SURELY be morning. I was so excited to find that I had at least 5 more hours I could sleep that I almost couldn't go back to sleep. But I did.

I never really understood the phrase, "curiousity killed the cat" until we had Bitty. He is a natural born explorer. He is constantly climbing up on counters, pawing down into couch cushions, checking under the bed... he's a nosy little fella. Stubby the 3leggedWondercat is basically a piece of furniture that eats and poops. He gets animated only when I lay down at night (because he knows he'll get petted for a little bit) and when I get out the num-nums.

My friend Kathy reminded me last night about www.skinnytaste.com - it's a blog that has the most amazing recipes that are easy, flavorful and weight watchers friendly. I'm not much for following recipes line for line... I usually get ideas for flavor combinations or cooking techniques and then do my own thing. But if you're trying to eat healthy and feel like you're in a rut, you might want to check it out.

I heard this quote the other day and thought it was awesome... "the only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions"... How deep is your rut? Is it becoming a grave? Even though I'm in a plateau... I'm still moving forward... I refuse to stay stuck. I'm still doing the things I need to do to be healthy. I'm coughing again... there's junk in my chest again... I'm trying to mitigate the illness by doing the thing I know that helps keep me healthy- proper nutrition. I know that I will always have some battles with this lung stuff. I just can't use it as an excuse to give up. Being at a healthy weight and giving my body the right kind of food can only help. It may not heal me completely but it may help keep that rut from becoming a grave.

If nothing else, I know that eating well makes me feel better so that even if I don't feel GREAT, I don't feel as bad as I could.

It never ceases to amaze me that my child can pile up laundry as high as his head, never put his stuff in the laundry room until I throw a fit, never put away his clean laundry ... and yet... every morning without fail... he comes into my room to complain about not having matching socks. *shakes head*

Since my relationship meltdown of last week... I'm feeling a lot more peace. I had to take a step back and re-evaluate what I was looking for and how I was looking. I had to sort of evaluate Single Life (yes, the capitalization is intentional) and I realize how much I actually enjoy this stage of life. The uncertainty is frustrating... the "what ifs"... what if I get sick? What if I can't work? What if my car breaks down? What if I get old and ugly and then it's too late? Will I regret not working harder to find a man in my younger years? Will I one day regret the lonely years? And I don't have the answers to those questions but... I have to say... on a day to day basis... I really enjoy the flexibility of this life I have right now. I like not answering to anyone... not having to share the remote... not worrying about anyone else creating financial problems that I have to fix (other than Austin, of course). The other thing... being single affords me... is the ability to know a lot of people, to share my heart with a lot of people and hopefully, give them a little hope. The whole vetting process forces you to have some transparency and to open your heart and mind to possibilities. I've seen a lot of possibilities over the past few months and... I'm not sure that's a bad thing.

Anyways... the key to happiness is appreciating the life you have. I do appreciate all that I've been given. I appreciate the people in my life who keep me from being alone or lonely. I appreciate the unique opportunities I have here in this Single Life.

One thing I've been thinking about over the past few days is the concept of a garden. It's sort of a family joke that I have no capacity to grow things (other than children). But I want to. I want a garden. I want to grow basil and peppers and tomatoes... and of course, I just have a little duplex with no real land of my own that I can use for anything or with any expectation of it being left alone. Organic Rose who is the caretaker of the farm I visit every weekend suggested that perhaps instead of working on my cyber farm, I could come out and help with the REAL farm. I think she was partly teasing but I would absolutely love it. I relish the idea of finally figuring out how to make things grow in the dirt. It harkens back to my oft repeated phrase, "if you give a man a fish he eats for a meal, if you teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime". I want someone to teach me to "fish". I want to be able to... one day when I have my little cabin in the woods... to have a little garden spot where I can provide food for myself... I love being outdoors... I love the smell out the fresh turned earth... I love feel of the sun on my face and the taste of tomatoes, ripe from the garden. What could be better?

At the time I was finishing a book, "Leota's Garden" by Francine Rivers. (my favorite author, by the way). There's a passage in the garden where she makes the connection between God placing Adam and Eve in a garden... the Garden of Gethsemane... and how important gardens must have been to God for him to use them as such an important setting. She also makes a distinction between a park and a garden... a park is where you go to play but a garden is where you go for meditation and nourishment. I love that. So... whether it's in a topsy turvy or wherever... I want to make a garden for myself.

AND that... my friends... is the news from the nest today... must glam and dash. Love and hugs, y'all.