just another manic monday!

I'm still enamoured with Max on TMZ... the guy with the long blond hair.

I finally made my sausage balls... it's our big family tradition... this is our figgy pudding... and they're awesome but they're a gooey mess to make. Austin took pictures of me elbow deep in dough... I'm too lazy to post them tonight.

Today I went to see an Ear Nose and Throat specialist. His diagnosis is that my ear pain is really more jaw pain due to clenching my teeth. Heaven knows I've had a lot of teeth clenching moments in the past year! There is no more infection in either ear, which is good news... the dr said it sounded to him that the strain of infection that I had in my ear was related to the kidney infection and that the strong antibiodics would have done more harm than good.

I was thinking while I was at the doctor's... how much would I love to have back either the time spent in doctor's offices this past year... or the time spent mourning what didn't deserve my emotion to start with... that time is lost but I won't be losing time in 2009!

Onward and upward... forward... face to the light... no looking back, right Mark?

The renovation of the office took a big step forward over the weekend... they have now taken out the fireplace and left a big ole hole... eventually the hole will be a new wall, separating Ginger and Kevin's offices from mine... but right now it's just a big plastic covered hole in the floor. And dust EVERYWHERE! Duane is on vacation but he checked in to see how things were going... I said, "um... we're knee deep in dust". You know I'm bad about exaggeration. I sent him a cellphone picture so he could see for himself. The cleaning guy is coming tonight.

Big hole in the floor = big spiders in the office. I'm not one to be delicate and girly much - ok, not TOOOOO much. Gus thought it was hilarious today when he scooted a spider over into my work station and I ended up practically going through the window behind me. Glad to bring joy... in whatever form...

There is some uber craziness going on with my first husband's family right now. I haven't talked much about them because... well... it's just long ago and far away for me. The children's other grandmother has never been what you would call stable. Her husband has had some questionable ... shall we say... business practices... today I talked to my kids' dad and he said that his stepfather is in jail... he was arrested for dealing drugs and for... Jerry Springer moment ahead... masterminding the kidnapping and near murder of my former mother in law's 90 year old stepmother. It's insane... made for tv drama! They roughed the old gal up pretty bad... it's so sad. I've never really kept my kids from their other grandma but she hasn't been terribly involved in their lives. I send her cards and notes and school pictures and such... and the older boys have visited her in the past year... but this guy she's married to is bad news, always has been, so I haven't exactly been gung ho on having the kids at her house. I didn't let them go to her wedding ten years ago.

Of course, my kids' dad has to turn every time the wind blows into an excuse not to pay child support. He's over $25,000 in arrears now... and today he said he didn't know when he'd be able to pay again. He didn't pay a thing for the whole time I was in Jacksonville... started paying a portion of what he's supposed to pay when I moved up here... and now he's giving himself another vacation and I'm just done. When he takes a break from paying he never tries to catch back up. I'm just going to file with Child Support Recovery. I'm done asking him to do what he needs to do. I'm suing for back child support... he should be done in three years... he's gonna mess around and end up paying for the next ten to try to catch up. Idiot. He said, "well, with all this going on with my mom, I don't know when I'm going to be able to pay". Seriously. His mom has had some sort of breakdown in relation to what's going on with her husband but my kids' dad has not even so much as talked to her! It hasn't cost him a dime or a moment of lost work!

Not getting child support is making an already tight budget... well, frustrating. Today I cancelled Cody and Austin's life insurance policies... and for someone who believes as strongly in life insurance as I do, that was tough. It's going to save me about $50 a month, though... that will pay the water bill. I have some life insurance for them as a rider on my policy, but not much. I really need to sell some stuff and make some commission. Soon. I had been promised some money from Jacksonville that never showed up... and to be honest, I told him I didn't want his money... but... well, I'm concerned. I can't take a second job. I can barely work the hours I'm supposed to work on the first job. And I'm not complaining... God has been good to me. He's met all my needs so far. I may pay things a bit late but we've kept the lights on and the car payment made so far... but I worry...

Anyways... Christmas is almost here! I am glad to be here, regardless of the struggle... glad to know that I have survived what just might end up going down in my history as the worst year ever of my life... which means that there's nowhere to go but up! Time to enjoy a bit of tv... love and hugs, y'all!