My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

conversations

I have a migraine- the bad kind that I get once every now and then... numbness in my face... blind spots... nausea... horrible, horrible pain. I don't have them as often as I used to before they changed my blood pressure medicine but I have one today. Angie asked if it was stress... I'll be honest with you... I feel less stress now than I have in a long time... there are things in my life that I wish were better/different/etc but I'm not in an active state of anxiety. Actually... if anythig, I feel like right now the expectations on me are rather low and that's a huge stress reliever. I will be going to bed ASAP to get rid of the pain in my brain but Austin stayed after school to catch up on some work and I want him to max that time out. He needs it. I am getting very positive behavior reports from his teachers, though, and that's awesome. It used to be that he was a discipline problem. Now he's just an organizational problem. He's really a sweet kid.

I titled this entry conversations because I wanted to thank you guys - and thank God - for the healing conversations that take place in my life every day - sometimes by phone, sometimes by email, sometimes just by the comments you leave. I feel like I have this enormous support group and I want to let you know that I don't take it for granted. I love you guys!

I also want to tell my mother I love her. Mothers and daughters are predispositioned to not get along. I'm harder to deal with than most, probably. I'm so doggone open about everything except the stuff that hits me the deepest and then you can't get a word out of me - even when it's necessary. And then when I do let something out, it's just verbal vomit... a complete ugly stream of built up emotion that would have been best served in small bites. It's hard to find the love in any of that.

So huge hugs to the ones who listen, the ones who give advice, the ones who ask if I'm ok, the ones who care, the ones who sit quietly by and let me figure it out, the ones who just faithfully pop in and wish me well. Y'all make life worth living. I love having conversations with you.

Going to pick up Austin and then hopefully get to sleep until this headache goes away.

5 comments:

just me said...

I hope you get rid of that migraine right away. I have never had one but hear they are terrible. Glad to heare you are getting good discipline reports on your son.
Barbara

mmmbrown625 said...

Most of us are here because we love you . . . hope your headache goes away. Be careful driving with it.
Ly,
M

Ericanbiloxi said...

Good luck ditchin the headache.
YAY for Auggie!!! He really is growing up.(too fast like the rest of our kids...)
We all love and wish you the best, that is why we are here.

sober white women said...

Go crash. Today is a good day for me, so I sewing up a storm! LOL It is strange not having Rusty here, because I feel that I am free to sit at my machine all night.
Kelli

Myra said...

Austin has made great progress! One step at a time, you'll get him there. Just as you have made great strides with each and every day, you learn, grow...its a journey! Hope you feel better!