My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Friday, November 14, 2008

great things

Great things about being single:
no need to shave your legs,
being able to eat pinto beans and fresh onions,
burping when needed,
eating in bed,
less laundry,
you can watch MTV Cribs, the Girls Next Door, Real Housewives of Atlanta, TMZ, Whatever Martha, Jon and Kate Plus 8... and so on... without anyone complaining
a full sized bed is plenty big
you get the WHOLE closet to yourself
nobody else's butt on your toilet (Austin has his own bathroom)
set your own bedtime
no snoring
no stinky "post-chicken wings at Hooters" farts
you get to be that quirky single Old Maid Aunt

Great Things About My Life Now:
my beautiful antique bed
cool weather
my job
seeing my nieces a couple of times a week
being able to have a sister -in my sister-in-law
my church and my three bible study classes
health insurance for both me and Austin
DISH network - 200 channels! Yeah, baby!
my crockpot
cooking dinner every day (because there just aren't that many places to eat out)
my awesome tv (thank you, Michael!)
small town values
boiled peanuts
vegetable stands
local honey
my digital camera (I have pictures to share, including pictures of Stubby the 3 legged wonder cat)
my adorable rubber duckie shower curtain

I know we did Thankful Thursday yesterday but I really needed to count my blessings again today. I had a few disappointments today... nothing earth shattering or "happiness reversing" but things that I had to push through and make a conscious choice to not allow them to bring me down. I am lonely. I just am. It sucks... I love my life and I'm so grateful for the life I have now and I know that this is the best possible thing for me right now, to allow myself time to heal... and I feel so strongly convicted that I am married... that I have a commitment that requires respect, that any man that I might be interested in, who might be a long time forever love for me, wouldn't be interested in a woman who is still married... end of story... and I know that I'm not ready to be a part of any sort of pairing... I have to be just me for now... I just loved being married... I loved the idea of being married, I suppose, more than the reality of it... and I have to reconcile my expectations with reality before I move forward. A guy friend asked me today when I was going to be ready to "get on with life" and the truth is, I don't know. Not yet. It's still too soon. It's been 8 weeks.

SOOOO ... forgive me for bragging a little bit about my treasures and my idyllic, beautiful, mountain home... I needed to remember how good it is here!


Anonymous said...

Heather ~ you got on with life seven weeks ago . . . "your" life, not anyone else's . . . what makes you happy and content doesn't have to satisfy anyone else.
Wanna come to a Star Wars b-day party in Alabama tomorrow? Gas is cheap here . . . there will be a hay ride and roasted hotdogs by the camp fire . . .

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

counting those blessings helps everytime ! 'OnYa' - ma

M said...

You are doing great Heather!
You will be amazed how time will fly.

I've been divorced over 4 years now - when I was going through it- it seemed like time was going backwards.

Maybe you can make friends - just friends to go out with- it doesn't have to be romantic right now. Just so you have things to do!

You are free to do what you want!

That was the best part of when my ex left - I didn't have to answer to him anymore. No more control issues!!!!



Beth said...

Heather, I'd say that one of the best things you can do right now is learn to embrace your solitude, and to love being with yourself. It wasn't until I took the time to do that that I was able to really appreciate what was important and to appreciate myself. Know what I mean? I figured out that I was worth it to someone who would treat me right.

Keep doing what you're doing. You'll get there. It's still early, but you're on the right track.

Love, Beth

Peaceful Epiphany said...

The "single list" had me cracking up. Some on your list I actually do with Ry. Damn...I think Ry is the only man I know who can name all of Jon and Kate's kids! Seriosuly. Weird huh?

We watch TMZ together too, and he reads over my shoulder when I read my rag mags (although he may deny it if I catch him, but trust me, he is up to speed on all that!).

"NO NEED TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS", Priceless. BURPING! Oh I love to burp....LOUD! My girls do too. We burp like MEN!

I have never heard of "Whatever Martha", I will have to find it on my TIVO GUIDE and see if I have that channel here on my puny comcast cable set up. No DISH NETWORK HERE! LOL.

I think you have really done an amazing job of focusing on the positives Heather. Sure, you may have those loud talks with God that you wrote about earlier because you are lonely and because the marriage you tought was "IT" wasn't exactly IT, but far and above, I think you know you have made a lot of changes.

I also think that you know there are many more exciting changes ahead of you. Mostly good, some maybe bad (different), but I think you now know you can pretty much handle just about anything. So take it all in and BRAG earned those bragging rights.


Chrissie a.k.a. HoneyB said...

I'm not breaking my marriage vows even though my husband did. I am still married until the Judge signs that decree. Maybe when that time comes I'll be ready to date again. I was married for 24yrs so I meant what I said he was the one that didn't. I think that will mean a lot to another man later on down the road.
You take your sweet time. Healing is different for everyone. There is no timeline.
Take care, Chrissie

Lainey Laine said...

Heather you are doing so well - and its good to keep writing stuff down - it helps you! And it doesnt matter how many times you do! We are with ya.

I was divorced about 7 years ago. It was scary to be on my own after 16 years. But it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was alot happier for a start! Then I met John - we are not married but one day I hope to.

Love Laine xxxx

Big Mark 243 said...

Oh ... a 'cast of characters' ... Will have to pay attention to it and connect names and stuff.

There is ALWAYS a need to shave your legs and your arm pits!! ALWAYS!!

Yes, watching what you want, without snide comments is a plus.

Love that you relish the 'Old Maid Aunt' thing ... even though you aren't old (I think I am older than you ... and I am still young!!) As to the 'Hooters' thingy, well, I don't have to worry about hearing the same ol' my back hurts from carrying too much comments!!

Great thing about all the great things, is you have a keener appreciation for what matter. And that DISH network ... we have DirecTV, and it is like 'how did I live without it?'

The 'married' part, I will connect here. Though me and Mookie weren't married, we were together for over 5 years ... and I had been married before.

Like you, I WANT to be married. Being more worldly than you, I do have room for 'committed relationship', for someone who has issues with being married, but can stick and stay like Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.

It is going to take a bit of time, BUT it doesn't mean that you can't 're-tune' your criteria for a partner, and look at people who may embody those qualities, whether it is a character in a movie or show, or someone in your bible study or at the fellowship service ... in short, LOOK AT LIFE. It isn't just to be lived, but observed so you can learn.

When it is time, YOU WILL KNOW. The thing is, when you number is called, step right up. Even if it is called a month from now, a year, or five years, step on up and get what is yours. Don't be shy when you claim what is yours, you feel me?

And while I would love to see a girl in a corset, hope you aren't tightening it for anyone other than yourself. Who ever you are supposed to meet, should like you off the rip, and anything else should be part of that process. He'll help you tighten that corset!

Sage Ravenwood said...

I had to take some time after my last abusive relationship to figure out what I wanted, how to change the path I was on. Some parts of you don't like the lonliness, for quite a few people being with someone they don't loves is better than the alternative being along....

I can honestly say that time I took for myself, I was able to get my head together, learn to respect me. It left me open for someone who looked at me and treated me with that same respect.

It does happen, this time of solitude is strenghening. It's a time of healing. Your in my thoughts. (Hugs)Indigo

Ericanbiloxi said...

lol, some of your thankful for being single things works for folk that have been married a lonng looong time....