My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

More Thankful Thursday

So much I wanna blog about today... continuing my thankful thursday theme...

An hour ago I couldn't have come up with one positive thing to say. I had a real tantrum on my way home from work... I just threw a fit... all the frustration and disappointment of the last few months just built up in me... all the "pushing through" and "walking in faith" and being positive... just flew out the window and I just yelled and hollered and cried and ... well, I got mad. I told God how unfair it all is... and how I deserve to be loved... and how it wasn't right...

He is big enough to take it.

And ultimately... God and I agreed together that it was ok for me to get it out of my system every now and then, as long as I don't make a habit of it. I mean... yeah, it's not fair... but neither is starvation or poverty or war or disease... I don't have it so bad. God reminded me that in the end, people get what they deserve. He reminded me that I am in a place of peace. And to put the exclamation point on what He was telling me, I drove through the town square in Cleveland just as night was falling and each window in the old courthouse was lit up with a little Christmas candle (yes, already!)... and it was so idyllic... and I remembered my cozy little nest of a bed and the crockpot full of beef stew waiting for me... and I remembered that I get paid tomorrow and that I am getting a raise and ... well, it's just all very good.

I have a friend who is hurting right now and my heart is so soft toward them. They are facing what I've faced, only worse... and they are dealing with so much more frustration. They are unable to escape from Egypt like I did... they have to stay and fight it out... and I just want to wish them peace... and courage... and faith... and hope. Always hope.

Austin is excited today because he has finished reading Genesis. Remember when he was given a bible at church for the bible drill group? He has been steadily reading. He reads his bible in church rather than listen to the sermon... I'm not saying it's IDEAL but it's better than him fidgeting and at least he's getting something out of it. Since he's being punished by not being allowed to watch tv or play Wii... he's reading the bible... and today he finished reading Genesis. Now he's reading Exodus. He said, "Hey mom, remember that movie you bought me a long time ago with the camel on it?" No... I didn't remember. "Well, the book of Exodus is the same as that movie". Oh. Prince of Egypt. Or something like that. One of those Disney movies. "yes, they made the movie from the book, not the other way around".

When I first moved here I subscribed to Good Housekeeping Magazine. I like getting magazines and now that I'm on a tight budget (i.e., paying my own bills) I don't have money to spend on my usual magazines every time I go to the store. It was cheaper to buy a subscription and that happened to be the magazine I had at the time (because Jon and Kate were on the cover). Today my December issue came and Paula Dean is on the cover! I LOVE HER! It's awesome how much excitement I get from getting a magazine in the mail. Michael's Travel Golf and Leisure magazine came too. I was less excited about that. I'm treating myself to another subscription soon... I just have to decide what...

I watch Friends every day. I've seen every episode a couple dozen times - to the point that I can quote it - and I still laugh at every joke. I'm easy like that.

It was a good day at work. I had a couple of appointments and although I didn't sell any "big bang for my buck" products, I sold a few other products that matter to the agency and that my clients needed. I didn't feel great this morning and I was a bit draggy when I first got to work. I hung in there. My Georgia insurance license came in the mail! My transition is almost complete... got my Georgia drivers license, got my tag, got my Georgia insurance license... yep, I'm a peach again!

One tiny little whine... I've done something weird to my right knee. Maybe it's just sympathy pain for Jen (my blog friend in CA who is having some knee issues) because I haven't really DONE anything to hurt it... other than the fact that I sit "criss cross applesauce" all the time. Maybe I'm too old to do that any more. It doesn't hurt ALL the time, just on the first step or two and just when I bend a certain way.

Angie sent me Sarabeth's menu for school lunch tomorrow. I'm going to try to eat lunch with her again. It makes her so happy... and it's easy...

So that's the rest of my Thursday... and there won't be much more of it.. I'm in the nest and ready to rest. *group hug*

7 comments:

Emmi said...

lots to be thankful for. huggies

Myra said...

Many blessing in your life for sure! About 12 years ago, I had a shouting match with God, well, I was shouting, He was listening. It was about a job I so desperately wanted. I worked so hard to hone my skills for THAT job. I tested for it 6 times...failed each and every one! I truly feel He led me to go to school and test for this job, and now He wasn't letting me have it. Turns out there was a better job, one that allowed me to divorce my husband, and be on my own. He knew that, and I failed to trust Him in that moment.

Tina said...

like you said, He is big enough to take those tantrums and you needed to get all that out.
I am on the verge of a tantrum of my own.
Your entry, combined with mine, reminded me of something to be thankful for...Whenever Rob and I used to get in huge fights, and I would get soooo angry, i would actually almost pass out from dizziness and would got numb on my right side. Scary, right? Now I hang up. feels good.

Jamie said...

I read your comment at Nutwood about your fear of needles. I'm the same way. (I frequently pass out when getting my blood drawn and particularly when getting shots) I've found that getting the flu shot in your leg hurts a LOT less and for me at least, the further away from my head the needle is, the less effect it has on me. (the bruising is a lot better afterwards in the leg as well)

Lainey Laine said...

Awwww bless you. Its hard when you feel fed up - I know! But yes we all have things that we should be thankful for and we are. You just cant help being down sometimes. Its the people around us that pull us back up again.

I love friends too. I have the whole boxset of all the episodes. I keep telling myself that I should sit down and watch them right from the beginnning but I havent had time. I should make time, I love it!

Hugs to you.
Love Laine xxx
http://lainey-lainesworld.blogspot.com/

Peaceful Epiphany said...

Ohhh Girl....yep, my right knee was especially bad today. Perhaps it's because they told me that surgery is pretty much inevitable today. I have a surgery consult coming my way. UGH.

No more criss-cross apple sauce for you. And DRINK THAT JOINT JUICE that they sell at Costco...it's too late for me, but it's not too late for YOU! ;)

Big Mark 243 said...

Yeah, you do deserved to be loved ... expect it by getting ready for it when it happens. Because dontcha know, it is going to happen.

I am the way you are about Good Housekeeping as I am about Sports Illustrated. Seeing that come in the mail, makes things better somehow!

Be well, and take care of that knee!